Weiners know weiner people

I know it’s been a few since I posted. My goal was originally to post at least once a day but I was checked in to Cedars-Sinai for “exhaustion” and then I ran into Ri-Ri and you know how it can get when old friends haven’t seen each other in awhile, especially when domestic abuse is one of the topics of convo.

No really, I was sick as a dog the past couple of days. All the old women in my office have been passing around this flu-like crap and I finally caught it. Luckily I am working from home to next couple of days to avoid the plague. I was so sick I couldn’t even leave my apartment to get my beloved Starbucks black tea. I have been having withdrawals.

Before I came down with the sickness I did manage to do a couple of fun things this weekend. The weather in Houston was amazing this weekend, nearing 80 during the days so LG and I took the pups to the dog park here. It was slam packed with wieners and we loved it. (that sentence was not supposed to be dirty) There was this incredibly creepy man that kept saying/screaming “Wieners know weiner people! Wieners know wiener people!.” No sir I am pretty sure my dogs are coming up to you because you are standing in the middle of the dog park screaming, but whatev. There were also lots of pugs, which usually turns out bad because Frankenstein has an aversion to “smoosh-face” dogs and tries to attack them- then things just get awkward.

Saturday night I went to Whiskey Creek with some friends and had a really good time. I would have to say it’s probably one of my favorite places I have been to so far in Houston. There is always such an amazing crowd. I think it is a “destination bar” for a lot of people who don’t live in the city so there is always one of those typical fat girl (yes I said it) bachelorette parties with penis’ galore and you will no doubt see at least cowboy or 7. We indeed saw a cowboy and immediately nicknamed him “cowboy” (we are so creative after 7 vodka tonics) anyway eventually we did talk to Mr. Cowboy and some how ended up giving him and his extremely drunk friend a ride home- They were so thankful for the ride home that they bought us romantic late night meal for us at Taco Cabana. How nice. I will forever be grateful to “Cowboy.”

Then I woke up Sunday and felt like death. I am still recovering but felt like posting something. Hope everyone has a mediocre week, I know mine will be.

Touche! Touche!

Thanks to this fabulous new place called CosBar in The Woodlands I am now $200 poorer. WTF How do these things happen to me? My boss and I were just wandering down good ole Market Street after lunch and happened to walk by this new cosmetics shop. “Should we go in and see what they have?” my boss asks, “Well of course”

The woman working in there was quite possibly the best salesperson ever. The foundation she put on me was flawless, the eyeliner perfecto, the concealer/highlighter –incredible. The concealer was this YSL thing called Touche (rhymes with douche) something or another… I couldn’t buy it because she just kept saying “Oh the Touche! The Touche! Looks so good.” It took all I had in me not to laugh. I am pretty sure it was supposed to be pronounced Touché with the accent and everything…she was way off.

Well I ended up buying the foundation, eyeliner, eyeliner brush and some amazing fancy brand exfoliator that is pre-measured and makes your skin feel like the day you were born (just call me babyface). I don’t make enough money for this. I know better than to put myself in situations such as these. I have little to no self control when products and my debit card are involved. SHIT.

Other than that little bank account set back I had a good day. I will probably get to go back to the ATL soon to train my replacement and I will get to see my family as well.

Currently judging: myself for eating all the pasta I made for dinner, meant to have some to take for lunch tomorrow. At least I worked out?

Bring It On: Houston

So I toyed around with what I was going to write for my first post. I didn’t want to do some stupid “Hey this is me! This is my blog!” Clearly this is me, clearly this is my blog and I am sure no one really cares at all. So instead I thought I would devote this post to something more deserving.

I recently moved to Houston for my job slash for my personal sanity. My sanity had no idea what it was in for. My job is in a place called The Woodlands which is about 30 miles North of Houston- I decided it was in my best interest to live in the city and commute to work since The Woodlands is suburbia of all suburbia.

I thought learning to drive in and around Atlanta had “schooled” me on traffic, interstates, HOV lanes, brake lights and just all the crazies that are out on the roads. And I wouldn't really consider myself a "defensive driver" in fact I am pretty sure if my Driver's Ed teacher rode with me today he would have a heart attack in the passenger's seat. Yeah I would definitely file myself in the "offensive driver" category.

But after moving to Houston I felt like Hayden Panettiere in the latest of the “Bring It On” movies (yes I’ve watched them all, please judge) when she thinks she this badass cheerleader and then HOLD UP her rich snobby family moves to the ghetto and she gets schooled by Beyonce’s younger, prettier and just as marginally talented sister.

I know nothing. These people are crazy. They stop for no reason (except maybe a hill? isn’t this state supposed to be flat- the hills still throw people off) They brake all the time- ALL THE TIME. No one turns on their lights when it’s raining (pretty sure that is the law) and speed limit signs are just for looks. Oh and blinkers, what blinkers- my car has blinkers?????

Needless to say I have been learning the ropes of H-town traffic- countlessly getting passed while going 80 in heavy traffic (guess it's not fast enough). Hopefully soon Solange will let me back on the squad. Until then…

Oh and currently judging: the three dudes I just saw in the hot tub at my complex while I was checking the mail. Dudes shouldn’t get in hot tubs unless chicks or major sports injuries are involved- right? Ha.