Let’s just call it self interest

I am having one of those days. You know those FML I hate this and that my life sucks kind of days. Nothing anyone says or does will help, you are just going to sit around and pout and feel bad for yourself. Even the painfully awkward dates on “More to Love” aren’t cheering me up and if that ain’t working, nothings going to do the trick.

It’s probably a good thing I don’t have a trust fund or any significant amount of savings that I can really get to or else I might just disappear and none of you happy people would ever hear from me again. Maybe a postcard, maybe.

I am considering going on a de-friending frenzy on the book. I am not really friends with over half the people any way and I am sick and tired of hearing your happy updates. I am overreacting a little, my life is not THAT bad, I have a good job, nice apartment, two pretty cool pups and amazing friends and family but when you are having one of those “woe is me” days all the happiness explosions on various social networks can be stomach turning.

If you are engaged, married or pregnant or any combination of the 3 watch out. Especially if you consider putting 3-d ultra sounds photos as your profile picture. Consider yourself de-friended, I wish there was something worse than de-friending, kind of like how I think they should have a “dislike” button for things.

Newsfeed: “The first crush you ever had is now engaged”
-Michelle dislikes this (thumbs down)

Moral of the story: No one deserves to be happy if I’m not. Some call it selfish, I call it self interest.

Please Judge.

P.S. My “T” and “C’ keys are not working in blogger? WTF? I had to type in Word so that I could use said keys. This day really sucks.

P.P.S. (or is it pss?) Miley Cyrus is coming out with a clothing line with Max Azria? Really? Someone get me a gun.

If my life didn't suck quite so badly

Then I would post more. I really would. My goal here is to make people laugh. I WANT you to judge me and my friend's crazy antics. However the last couple of weeks have been rather calm. I did some traveling, was in a wedding, blah blah blah. I did manage to get a severe burn wound on my arm from cooking frozen egg rolls at 2 am. Win? I think so.

This weekend my friend's and I are going to the Houston Free Press Summerfest this weekend and I am pretty excited. It combines a lot of my major loves: day drinking, live music and "misting tents." Its also walking distance from my apartment and you can't beat that. I hope its a shitshow and I blackout and makeout with a hippie. I would be happy. I bought a Kavu purse for the occasion.

On a completely unrelated note I had the tuna sandwhich at Beck's Prime today and it was absolutely delicious. A+ usually I think that place is way overrated and overpriced but not in this case.

Okay peace out. Happy Friday. Go out and do something worth judging this weekend, I hope I do. I will let you know next week.

Do it for the Dogs. Part 2.

The fundraiser is going on through the end of the month! Please help this amazing cause!

Keep up to date with the whole process here at Who's Your Dachshund.

Nope.

Sooo this past weekend I went to the Miss Houston pageant. I know.

My very good friend was a contestant and I was SO proud of her for doing it. She did amazing.

BUTTT my inner judgey self was in heaven. Holy. Cow. These girls (not my friend) but the other ones who you could tell made their lives out of pageants were just unreal. I really wish I had been live blogging, it doesn't have the same effect after the fact. I can't even think of all the funny shit but I will recap a couple of things.

First of all, it was also the Miss Houston Teen within the same pageant. This was my favorite contestant.

Monica Suarez.

She had a mullet. A yellow/orangey mullet. She also had this look on her face like, "My mexican boyfriend just fucked me on the way over here and I am totally over it." No kidding. We totally predicted the Mexican boyfriend thing and it came true right before our eyes. I'll explain later.

This girl, who knows why she was doing this thing. She was SO OVER IT. Her sash looked like her Chihuahua had gotten a hold and not let go, it was all frayed and wrinkled. Her "evening gown" was a reject mall department store number and it was also as wrinkled as the sash. I really don't even have words to explain this. Of course my fellow pageant go-ers and I made up a life story for this girl complete with a Mexican boyfriend in a hot-rod type car and lots of cigarettes (shes also 8 weeks pregnant in our story) So anyway after long night of crappy dance routines, glitter and Lucite heels we make our way out to the valet. Monica had beat us there. BEAT US TO THE VALET. She was waiting with her MEXICAN BOYFRIEND for their car to get there. THIS GIRL IS PROBABLY 14 YEARS OLD. The valet pulls up with his car. A Bright Red Chevy COBALT with R A C I N G S T R I P E S. NOPE.

The whole thing was unbelievable. SO much more, but I cant remember all of the trainwrecks. I never knew so many pageant girls had fake tits. I was astonished. Check out all of shit show here...

Also I know this is way off topic but can I ask something? Why do people feel the need to put their 3-D ultrasound as their facebook pictures? WHY? I don't want to see your unborn baby. That is CREEPY. Spare me, spare everyone - For Zuckerberg's sake. This isn't what he wanted. Send an e-mail to your family members who care. Scratch that, most of them don't care either. I promise. NOPE.

Do it for the Dogs!

I will be traveling over the next week to Atlanta to see my family and vacationing a little with them in Florida. I am pretty pumped considering I haven't been to the beach in like 2 years.

Anyway...I added the donate widget (look right) for the Donate 4 Dachshunds Fundraiser. Please check it out and do what you can! Even if it's just spreading the word!


Catch you on the flip side.

Gretchen Update

This makes me feel a little better about myself. Please click. Thank you to A-Hole for the linky poo.

This almost needs no commentary. Accept I beg to differ with the title of the post. "We never guessed Gretchen Rossi's whole face is plastic" Well maybe you are a terrible guesser. Did you do really bad on multiple choice tests? True False? UGH I hated true/false in school. I always did so bad....

Maybe I wouldn't have guessed her whole face was plastic but I would have guessed some of it. What I never would have guessed is how horrendous she looked before. Give that surgeon an Nobel Peace Prize STAT (and also give him my phone number.)

A couple of things

First up something really really good:

Most of you know I have 2 Dachshunds. I follow this blog pretty regularly and it is one of my favorites! I even won an amazing coat for Penny through a contest they put on with www.noodleandfriends.com.

Anywiener...they are currently raising money for our favorite short-legged creatures! Everyone should donate! Please go here and check it out. Every bit counts! Whatever you can do, even if you just send it on to you friends/co-workers/fellow dog lovers/- Let's make it happen!


Next: Coming soon is the Saturday Shit Show.

I had dinner with some friends last night at Onion Creek (a new fav in town) and over $2 Heineken Lights we decided that the events from the previous weekend most definitely should have been caught on tape (i.e. karaoke of Wilson Phillips, Only our group of friends dancing in the corner of Chrisitans, the Westheimer block party and shots at 12:00 pm, MECHANICAL BOY, a crawfish boil where we were the utter rejects (see picture) and then finally Pearl Bar at 8:00 Pm with hulla-hoops (all of this happened in less than 48 hours).

The rejects: If you saw this picture tagged on facebook, that little group on the bottom left would be "us" and the big group at the top would be "the rest of the party"
So we are going to hire a Mexican named "Chuy" and get him to video tape our next weekend on the town. Definitely will be a crowd pleaser. I will post it here when it happens. I know you all can't wait.